One in ten Americans marries a foreign national, adding even more diversity to the US melting pot of cultures and traditions. Although mail order brides are not as prevalent as they used to be, they are still a major source of international marriages. And today, we’ll examine the mail order dating scene and answer all your questions if you’re curious to explore it.
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What Is A Mail Order Bride? Let’s Define Mail Order Bride Terminology
In the old days, mail-order brides were women who came to foreign countries to marry men, advertising their single status in newspapers. After corresponding for a few months or years, search couples formalized their relationships, which is where the term mail-order bride comes from.
Nowadays, mail order brides are a misnomer. Thanks to international dating sites, singles from different countries can create dating profiles, communicate with foreigners, and build long-distance relationships before marriage. Therefore, a modern mail order bride is merely an enterprising woman looking to marry a successful man from another country.
Are Mail Order Brides Real?
Yes, mail-order brides are real. Although the international dating scene has a spotty reputation due to online scammers and gold diggers, mail-order brides are few and far between among thousands of single women who are genuinely interested in building serious, long-term relationships with foreigners.
If you’re worried about fake profiles and bots, there are ways to ensure a mail order bride is real. Start by choosing reputable dating sites with profile verification and exploring video chat tools to see potential brides face-to-face. You can also use image search to find the real owners of dating profile pictures.
Do Mail Order Brides Still Exist?
Although the term is outdated, mail order brides still exist. Instead of relying on postal pigeons and newspapers, they use international dating sites, messengers, and social media to find compatible matches. Because the term has negative connotations, many women prefer not to use it or refer to themselves as such.
Are Mail Order Brides Legal?
Yes, mail order brides are legal.
Most countries, including the US, the UK, Canada, and Australia, recognize international marriages as long as you fulfill the basic requirements. Luckily, they are pretty easy. You and your bride must be over the age of majority, free from previous marriages or unions, and capable of giving consent. If you meet these criteria, you can marry in most countries and have your marriage recognized by your government.
Of course, there are a few exceptions. For example, the Philippines has an Anti-Mail Order Spouse Act prohibiting mail order bride-related businesses. However, this law does not prohibit international dating or marriages. Muslim countries, such as Afghanistan, have strict regulations regarding women’s rights. Usually, they cannot marry foreigners who are not Muslim. As a result, mail order brides from the Middle East and parts of South Eastern Asia are virtually nonexistent.
How Does a Mail Order Bride Work?
Mail order bride relationships are different from anything you’ve ever experienced, so it doesn’t hurt to learn more about how they work. To simplify things, let’s break it down into four stages:
- Search. First, you need to put your offer out there and connect with compatible singles. You can use niche dating sites, social media, online gaming, mail order bride agencies, or tours. This stage can take a few weeks to over a year, depending on your requirements for a perfect wife.
- Long-distance dating. Once you match with a compatible partner, the first few months of your relationship will be long-distance by necessity. Use this time to get to know each other better, resolve issues, and discuss your future together. Typically, this stage lasts from three to six months.
- IRL dating. When you’re sure you’ve chosen the right person, you need to meet face-to-face to take your relationship to the next level. You can either take several short trips to visit your girlfriend, take a sabbatical, or relocate for a few months if your job allows for remote operations.
- Relocation and marriage. After you propose, you cannot move in together immediately since your fiance will need a visa to join you and get married. Your relationship will be a mix of online dates and short visits, and it can last from a few months to over a year, as the government is never in a hurry to process paperwork.
This is how a typical relationship with a mail order bride progresses, but you might need to go back to step one and repeat the process if you hit snags. After all, you may not meet the right person on the first try, so you will need to reassess and go back to actively searching for matches.
How Much Is a Mail Order Bride? Mail Order Bride Cost Breakdown
You cannot buy a mail order bride like a new iPhone. Still, like any dating, international relationships are an investment of time and money. Considering their unique nature, spending will inevitably be higher. Here’s a sneak peek at the major expense categories awaiting you:
- Online dating expenses. These are international dating site membership fees, which range from $50 to $200 per month, depending on the platform you choose and how much time you spend on it.
- Travel spending. Not only will you want to see your bride in person before proposing, but it’s also a critical requirement for proving your relationship. The cost will vary greatly depending on where your bride lives and how much time you want to spend together. Round-trip plane tickets will cost from $500 to 1,500 dollars, and a weekly stay can cost anywhere from $100 to 1,000. So, if you take a couple of weeklong trips to visit your bride, your travel budget should be from $1,200 to $5,000.
- Visa and other paperwork filing fees. Your bride will need a visa to join you in the States. Your overall expenses will be around $2,500, which includes all filing fees for different forms, including I-129 (Petition for Alien Fiance) and I-485 (Adjustment of Status). If you decide to hire an immigration attorney to help you with the paperwork, it will add to your expenses.
- Wedding budget. In the US, you will only have 90 days to get married once your bride steps on American soil. If you decide to throw a huge party and celebrate your union, expect to spend up to $35,000. A smaller reception with your guests will cost less, but considering your diet deadline you might be liable for urgency charges.
Overall, the mail order bride cost starts at around $4,500 (without the wedding spending), but your expenses can be higher, depending on your bride’s homeland, how many times you visit her before proposing, etc.
How to Get a Mail-Order Bride Cheap
International dating will always be more expensive than local. Still, there are ways to minimize your expenses. For example:
- Choose an affordable international dating site and use your subscription wisely.
- Visit your bride during the off-season to lower travel expenses.
- Avoid extravagant gifts and focus on building an emotional connection.
- Research family visa requirements to eliminate immigration attorney fees.
- Opt for a courthouse ceremony instead of a huge wedding reception.
There will be plenty more opportunities to reduce the cost of international dating, but they will depend on your unique dating situation.
How to Get a Mail Order Bride
If you’ve never tried international dating before, you likely have no idea where to find and how to get a mail order bride. Luckily, there’s more than one way to get compatible matches, and we’ll walk you through the three most efficient options, highlighting their pros and cons.
Best Mail Order Bride Sites
Niche international dating sites specializing in serious long-term relationships attract singles globally or from specific regions to connect with potential partners. These platforms enable every member to set up a dating profile, explore the dating pool, and connect with likely matches. The communication toolset and response rate differ, so everyone can find a suitable platform to meet their needs.
Unlike social media and forums, niche dating sites offer premium membership (subscription or credit-based), but they provide various perks in exchange. Still, even user verification and anti-scam policies do not make mail order bride sites free from scammers, fakes, and bots.
Mail Order Bride Agency
Mail order bride agency is a certified matchmaking business operating in place of a dating site. Instead of scrolling through thousands of dating profiles online, you’ll complete a questionnaire and receive a shortlist of compatible candidates.
The agency will facilitate your communication and first meeting, but it will also charge you premium rates for every service rendered. Agencies take over mail order bride verification, adding an extra layer of security to your online dating, but they rarely guarantee successful relationships and marriage.
Mail Order Bride Tours
If you aren’t a fan of online dating, go on a romance tour. Professional matchmaking agencies will take care of your travel arrangements and accommodation, as well as setting up dates with eligible ladies in the area. Within a week, you’ll meet half a dozen girls, and one of them might be perfect for a long-term relationship.
Starting your relationship in real life will let you see what your girlfriend looks like without filters and Photoshop and gauge your chemistry and compatibility. However, such tours are pretty expensive, and you’ll need to sacrifice at least a week or two of your annual vacation with zero guarantees you’ll actually find a good match.
Best Mail Order Bride Sites
Mail order bride sites are the most cost-effective solution, but you must choose the platform carefully. The best international dating sites offer:
- Solid reputation and good reviews
- Member verification
- Advanced communication tools
- Mobile app or mobile-friendly interface
- Affordable rates without hidden fees
- Free registration and welcome bonus
If a mail order bride site checks most of these boxes, it’s worth a try, if only to explore the dating profiles and see if anyone catches your eye.
How to Become a Mail Order Bride
Thanks to international dating sites, it doesn’t take much for anyone to become a mail order bride. Here are the first few steps you’d need to make:
- Choose a dating site and set up a profile. Bigger sites have higher competition but are also more dynamic. The goal is to make your profile extra enticing.
- Explore potential matches. Use built-in search and matching tools to find singles who match your idea of a perfect partner.
- Contact matches and start a relationship. Dating starts with the first step, so you’ll want to make a good first impression and craft a personalized message instead of a stock conversation opener.
From there, your relationship will develop naturally, even if it’ll suffer the limitations of long distance. But if you forge a real connection, you’ll meet in person soon and turn from a girlfriend to a fiance.
Mail Order Bride Statistics
If you’re still unconvinced that mail order bride relationships are real and successful, here are the hard facts to prove our claims (read more about mail-order marriage statistics):
- In 2023, the US issued nearly 20,000 K-1 visas to foreign women marrying Americans, most of whom were likely mail order brides.
- The Philippines, Mexico, and Colombia are the three most popular dating destinations where mail order brides come from.
- The age difference between mail order brides and their husbands spans 2 to 9 years.
- The average age of mail order brides ranges from early 20s to mid-forties. Most are single and have never been married, but there are many divorcees with kids.
- Marriages with mail order brides are less likely to end in divorce than the average marriages in the US.
As intermarriage gains popularity, we expect the number of mail order bride relationships to rise in the coming years.
Final Thoughts
Although mail order brides are much different from the first iteration of desperate women seeking marriage across the borders, they are very much real and active. If you’re curious to try international dating without putting a dent in your savings, niche mail order bride sites are a good place to start your journey.