Experts estimate that around 25,000 scammers hunt for victims at any minute. And 500,000 to 3.5 million fakes are found among dating profiles every month. This doesn’t mean you’re doomed to become a mail order bride scam victim. Rather, these numbers highlight the value of research and caution.
We did all the homework for you, and here’s a Cliff’s Notes version of everything you need to know to stay safe on mail order bride sites.
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Signs of a Scam
Unfortunately, everyone’s at risk of becoming a mail order bride scam victim. There’s no surefire way to protect yourself, except for learning the red flags and being smart about your choices.
Here are a few signs your mail order bride may not be on the up and up:
- Your girlfriend cancels every video call you set up
- You can’t get her to send you a photo or video in a specific outfit or pose
- You find her photos on another dating site or social media under another name
- Her chat messages do not match her profile details, and she dodges your questions
- She falls instantly in love with you and is ready to get married without meeting IRL
- She doesn’t want you to tell anyone about your budding romance
- She asks too many personal questions that align with your bank’s security questions
Quick disclaimer: Some mail order brides may sound weird and robotic when texting because English isn’t their first language, and they often use online translators. This tends to draw out conversations and make them more stilted. Still, if you’re afraid you’re talking to a bot or a fake, try referencing one of your previous chats or ask the same questions phrased differently to see if you get a different response.
Types of Scams on Mail Order Bride Platforms
In 2023, over 64,000 Americans became victims of online romance scams. They lost over $1.14 billion, an average of $2,000. These are the most common tricks criminals use to steal money on mail order bride sites and other dating platforms.
Fake Sob Stories
“My mother is very sick. And my brother needs money for bail.”
This is the most common mail order bride scam, responsible for 24% of losses. Scammers leverage your feelings and desire to help a woman in need, and will milk your pity and compassion only to disappear into the ether the moment you stop paying.
Even if the story sounds compelling, and you’re invested in a relationship, stay strong and do not send money to strangers you’ve only met online.
Investment Offers
“I’ve made a fortune, and I’ll help you double your nest egg, too!”
18% of romance scams in 2022 started with an investment offer. Cryptocurrency is the latest fad, but other “lucrative” investment offers are also common. Once you follow the advice and wire the money, the scammer will ghost you, and you’ll never get your money back.
The rule of thumb is never to trust an investment offer that sounds too good to be true.
Fake Payments
“I’m waiting for a payment, but my bank doesn’t accept it. Can you forward it to me?”
The trick is that you receive a fraudulent payment and forward the money to your “girlfriend” before your bank catches it. When it does, the initial payment into your account will be canceled, and you’ll be out the sum you wired. Besides, the bank can flag your account for potential fraudulent activity or refuse service altogether.
Scammers can also use fake checks, gift cards, and even cash app and PayPal payments to get you to wire the money directly into their accounts. So if they offer to send either of these, reject the offer and be on your guard.
More elaborate schemes involve you receiving a delivery and covering the cost, only the shipment is empty, while your payment goes straight into the scammer’s account. This type of scam is less common, but you should still be aware of it.
Phishing
“I don’t want you to pay for every message. Here’s a link to a free app we can use instead.”
It is usually part of a bigger scheme to steal your money. The goal is to get you to a website that looks like a popular messenger, cash, or banking app. You won’t notice the slight differences and fill out the fields with your personal data. The scammers will then use it to access your bank account or drain your credit card.
If you really want to switch off a mail order bride site to a private messenger, do it safely and through an official app you’ve installed from the App Store or Google Play.
Blackmailing
“Here are my nudes, let me see yours?”
While it’s not the most popular scheme, 3% of romance scam victims report falling for it. The catch is that you’ll get stolen or AI-generated pictures while sharing your real photos or videos. Blackmailers will then use other info you share to threaten to publish your pics online to get you in trouble at work or with your family. The biggest issue is that you can never get free. The more money you pay, the more they’ll ask.
If you want to share your explicit materials, ensure you can’t be recognized. Better yet, just don’t do it. Remember that anything that gets online stays there forever.
How to Avoid Getting Scammed
Here is a quick checklist of things you should NEVER DO on a mail order bride dating site, other dating platforms, or any other sites:
- Do not wire money to people you’ve only met online.
- Do not share your sensitive personal information. This includes your full name, address, SSN, and credit card details.
- Do not post or share nude or compromising photos or videos where your face is clearly recognizable.
- Do not follow shortened URLs unless you receive them from trusted sources.
- Do not accept payments or deliveries on a stranger’s behalf.
Remember just these five simple rules, and you’ll be safe from 90% of all attempts to steal your money.
What Do You Do if You’ve Been Scammed?
First, you notify the mail order bride site administration and report illegal activity to have them suspend or delete the scammy dating profile. You can also contact your bank to try and reverse the payment or block your credit card. Finally, to help stop future fraud, report what happened to you to the FTC or BBB. While it’s unlikely you’ll get your money back, at least you’ll help protect others and learn how to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
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